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I was walking up and down the aisles in the local shopping emporium the other day, carefully comparing prices and quality of things. I cannot for my life understand why so many different kinds of soap, tooth paste and toilet paper are needed or wanted. The latter category is really absurd. While it might be nice to be gentle to oneself, I find the associations used by marketeers utterly crazy. Who the hell wants to wipe their bum with a rabbit, puppy, small bear or kitten? Does the butterfly brand provide a particular fluttering tickle when used?

And why are most of them marked with “New Improved”? It’s toilet tissue!

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