Mikael Fernstrom

>Today, I’ve had a day without pain. This is the first pain-free day since before Xmas. I’m totally exhausted after days of pain and medication, but I’m determined to get back to life again.

>The pain continues.

Every day, since before Xmas, I’ve had one or two Horton headache attacks. Yesterday, the pain woke me up at 05:20. The Zomig pills do very little, probably only shortens each episode, but doesn’t do anything for the actual pain.
In between attacks, I try to live and appreciate life as much as possible. But, this is not easy as I don’t dare to be further away than 15 minutes from my bed in a dark cold room. I’m constantly trying to detect “Is it about to happen, again”, which makes life and fun almost impossible.
Why? Most other forms of pain can be said to have some kind of purpose. Horton hasn’t. Or, nobody has figured it out yet. Is it a price we have to pay? For what? Why me? When will the cluster end, this time?

>I’m writing this between attacks of severe pain – headache. After checking my diary, I haven’t had this for over two years, and was hoping that it was “improvement by age” that had happened. While most people know severe headache as Migraine, this (as has been properly diagnosed) is a worse form known as Horton’s Headache, which is a form of Cluster headache.
Many say that Horton’s is the worst pain experience that can be had and still being alive. It’s true.
If my “normal pattern” develops, I’ll experience hell inside my skull for the next 4 weeks or so. Whenever it stops, I’ll be afraid of doing anything that really requires my attention for a month or so.

>Sean and I had a great afternoon in postproduction in the UL recording studio, trying to finish and master TXTULTR. Initially, spirirts were high, the vocals and Aidan’s solo is just great. So are the electroacoustics, especiialy Eoin’s performance on the Kakaphonizer. As we started to work on the orchestral parts, we got both depressed and angry. Finally, we’ve decided to use, if possible, the MIDI tracks instad of the live sound, as they represent what we’d like to communicate in a more accurate way.

>Be prepared to be rendered. Condo Airlines’ friendly personnel (a.k.a. Civilian-clothed Interrogator Assholes) will collect you anywhere on Planet Earth and provide soothing drugs and orange jump-suit. Free transport to arbitrary conversation-therapeutic centre via European airports in full denial – FOR FREE. Special offer this week: full body massage including electrodes attached to naughty bits.

>I’ve borrowed the title of this posting from a song my brother’s band recorded.
That’s what life is like, right now. I’m having the heaviest teaching load in years and I’m also managing the IDC, projects, students, etc…
Deadlines and emails are piling up. All the spam (f***k you) is not making it easier. UL isn’t making it easier is their daft email servers don’t block all the rubbish, and I have noticed that some email I send is never received and vice versa. We can’t trust the net anymore. If things don’t improve I might as well buy a typewriter and start buying stamps again.

>For the first time as a university lecturer, they are asking me to lecture to 1st years, tomorrow. While preparing my notes this evening, I felt that I should give a personal perspective on Computer Science. Back in the early 80s I started to develop a programming language that I called Russell after Bertrand Russell (after reading Principia Mathematica and discussing set theory with people on-line). So, I decided to Google Russell programming language and found this . Scary stuff. The implication is that somebody in the Swedish government agency NUTEK (which was called STU at the time) must have leaked everything I sent them… I think I know who it was, but can’t remember his name. That’s old age for you!

>We had a great week out in west county Clare. Mostly nice weather. Great fish. Good reading. Total disconnection and relaxation. Thanks!

>During the week, I had my first experience of the tram system in Dublin – LUAS. Hving read about it and seen it in the news on TV, it seemed like a good idea implemented 30 years too late. Now, having had a firsthand experience, it’s just silly. I now believe that the name LUAS is an acronym for Largely Underdimensioned Asynchronous System.
1. Nowhere else in the world would you find a tram that stops and waits at traffic lights for cars to pass. Nowadays most countries have computers that solves this.
2. Nowhere else in the world would you have motorists that are so stupid that they stop their car on the tram track.
3. Nowhere else in the world would you have passengers that are so silly that they rather squeeze one to many onboard (and the doors won’t close => delay) than boarding the tram that’s just 100 meters behind.
4. Nowhere else in the world would you find ticket machines that for some strange reason talk to you at the end of transaction. If you are visually disabled, you can’t use the ticket machines…
5. Nowhere else in the world have anybody managed to create to totally disconnected piece of transport infrastructure.

>I thought spam was bad. Now there are bots that post crap as comments to your blog as well!
Where will this stop? If EPIC is indicative, it won’t stop until unknown bots print real-time ads on our underpants.